Bad children do exist, but only as a result of the actions of parents in their upbringing. We cannot expect children to act like adults, yet so many ‘helicopter’ parents believe that allowing their children to be ‘young adults’ is nothing more than children behaving badly. Parents want to be friends and not be responsible parents, who initiate boundaries, set rules and are good role models for their children. More often than not many parents do not have the answer but what always works in consistency, having boundaries and rules saying NO, make some hard decisions (children will thank you later) and only then as parents will you gain their respect rather than their friendship (after all they are not your friends).
As Lev Vygotsky, (Social constructivism theorist) says we become ourselves through others. Children in their formative years absorb the accumulated wisdom, values and knowledge of previous generations through interactions with their families and caregivers, and use these ‘tools’ to learn how to conduct themselves effectively in the world. However, when they live in a world where there are no boundaries, never being told ‘NO’ to, are entering educational environments and the real world, with little understanding of acceptable social behaviour or self-discipline. They even lack the ability to think and reason on an individual level, as the ‘helicopter parents’ hover over their children in a protective manner. Over protective parents are not doing their children any favours by pampering them as it has an effect on their self esteem and self image and more often than not in the school or real world environment they are rebellious and have problems conforming to rules or work,
Gone are the days when most parents to took the time to help guide their children through homework, to set up a routine at home so that they are used to getting up at a certain time, going to bed at a certain time… and also to keep in contact children’s’ teachers. Instead kids are coming to school without having had breakfast, sufficient sleep (after spending most of the night social networking or gaming) to cope with the rigours of the school day.
Adults need to model behaviour they want, otherwise how does the child learn. You only have to go to a shopping mall or public place on a Saturday and watch parents interaction with their youngster and you can see why they youngsters behave the way they do, because they model the behaviour of the adults.